A complete defence in four words, set large enough to read from the other side of the office. AI in coral, MADE ME DO IT underneath in dark ink, no further explanation offered.

It covers the email you sent, the code you shipped, the dinner you attempted and the thing you said in the meeting. So far nobody has asked a follow-up question.

For people who use these tools all day and would quite like something to point at afterwards.

• Comfort Colors 1717, garment-dyed heavyweight cotton
• Relaxed boxy cut that runs large. If you want a closer fit, size down
• • Sizes S to 4XL
• Made to order and sent tracked, with free delivery

SIZE GUIDE (garment laid flat)

S chest 46cm (18in) wide, length 68cm (27in)
M chest 51cm (20in) wide, length 71cm (28in)
L chest 56cm (22in) wide, length 75cm (29in)
XL chest 61cm (24in) wide, length 78cm (31in)
2XL chest 66cm (26in) wide, length 80cm (32in)
3XL chest 70cm (28in) wide, length 83cm (32in)
4XL chest 76cm (30in) wide, length 85cm (34in)

Chest is measured across the garment, so double it for the full chest.
This is a boxy, heavyweight cut and it runs large. If you prefer a closer fit, take the size below.
Measurements are the supplier's own, and may vary by up to 2cm.

THE GARMENT

• Comfort Colors 1717, garment-dyed in the USA
• 100 percent ring-spun cotton, 6.1 oz (207 gsm), so it hangs rather than clings
• Garment-dyed, which is why the colour looks lived-in from day one and softens further rather than fading
• Relaxed boxy cut. It runs large: size down for a closer fit

Colours: Ivory, White, Pepper, True Navy, Moss and Black.

Printed to order, never held in stock, so nothing is made that nobody wants.