A complete defence in four words, set large enough to read from the other side of the office. AI in coral, MADE ME DO IT underneath in dark ink, no further explanation offered.

It covers the email you sent, the code you shipped, the dinner you attempted and the thing you said in the meeting. So far nobody has asked a follow-up question.

• Gildan 18500 Heavy Blend, cotton and polyester with a brushed fleece inside
• Front kangaroo pocket, drawstring hood, ribbed cuffs and hem
• Sizes S to 5XL
• Made to order and sent tracked, with free delivery

SIZE GUIDE (garment laid flat)

S chest 51cm (20in) wide, length 69cm (27in)
M chest 56cm (22in) wide, length 71cm (28in)
L chest 61cm (24in) wide, length 74cm (29in)
XL chest 66cm (26in) wide, length 76cm (30in)
2XL chest 71cm (28in) wide, length 79cm (31in)
3XL chest 76cm (30in) wide, length 81cm (32in)
4XL chest 81cm (32in) wide, length 84cm (33in)
5XL chest 86cm (34in) wide, length 86cm (34in)

Chest is measured across the garment, so double it for the full chest.
This is a boxy, heavyweight cut and it runs large. If you prefer a closer fit, take the size below.
Measurements are the supplier's own, and may vary by up to 2cm.

THE GARMENT

• Gildan 18500 Heavy Blend
• 50 percent cotton, 50 percent polyester, 8.0 oz (271 gsm), a proper winter weight
• Double-lined hood, front pouch pocket, ribbed cuffs and hem

Colours: Black, Navy, Dark Heather, Military Green and Sport Grey.

Printed to order, never held in stock, so nothing is made that nobody wants.