A confession, not a boast. If your drafts still lean on the mark this shop is named after, wear the plea bargain.

This version is cut for a women's fit: soft ringspun cotton, a relaxed, not boxy, body, side seams and a bit of extra length, next to the shop's usual heavyweight unisex tee.

The joke works twice: literally, for anyone who cannot stop reaching for the key, and pointedly, for anyone who has spent a meeting explaining why a colleague's prose reads suspiciously smooth.

It is type, set by hand, for people who notice when punctuation gets sloppy.

• Bella and Canvas 6400, soft combed ringspun cotton
• Women's relaxed fit, side seamed, and slightly longer in the body
• • Sizes S to 3XL
• Made to order and sent tracked, with free delivery

SIZE GUIDE (garment laid flat)

S chest 47cm (18in) wide, length 64cm (25in)
M chest 51cm (20in) wide, length 66cm (26in)
L chest 56cm (22in) wide, length 68cm (27in)
XL chest 61cm (24in) wide, length 70cm (27in)
2XL chest 66cm (26in) wide, length 72cm (28in)

Chest is measured across the garment, so double it for the full chest.
This is a boxy, heavyweight cut and it runs large. If you prefer a closer fit, take the size below.
Measurements are the supplier's own, and may vary by up to 2cm.

THE GARMENT

• Bella and Canvas 6400, relaxed women's cut
• Combed and ring-spun cotton, 4.2 oz (142 gsm), light and soft rather than stiff
• Heather colours are a cotton and polyester blend, which is what gives them the flecked look
• Relaxed through the body with a slightly longer length

Colours: Black, Navy, Pink, White, Dark Grey Heather and Heather Mauve.

Printed to order, never held in stock, so nothing is made that nobody wants.