Asked with total sincerity, roughly eighteen months before the answer arrives.\n\nFor anyone who has watched a valuation and felt a small, quiet unease.\n\nThe question mark takes the accent, because the innocence of the question is the whole joke.

SIZE GUIDE (garment laid flat)

S chest 46cm (18in) wide, length 68cm (27in)
M chest 51cm (20in) wide, length 71cm (28in)
L chest 56cm (22in) wide, length 75cm (29in)
XL chest 61cm (24in) wide, length 78cm (31in)
2XL chest 66cm (26in) wide, length 80cm (32in)
3XL chest 70cm (28in) wide, length 83cm (32in)
4XL chest 76cm (30in) wide, length 85cm (34in)

Chest is measured across the garment, so double it for the full chest.
This is a boxy, heavyweight cut and it runs large. If you prefer a closer fit, take the size below.
Measurements are the supplier's own, and may vary by up to 2cm.